An Excused Absence and A Peace Offering.

Okay blog readers, I definitely DIDN’T abandon you! I have had SO much going on lately, I haven’t had time for much at all, much less stuff on the computer, even LESS, blogging.

Harper has, since she started teething, crying all day. Still doing the baby bath salts thing (chewing on everyone’s hands) though, so that’s… fun. Oh, also, she learned to SCREAM (fun!). So yeah…

Haley has regressed (finally) and started with accidents in the hallway, whining A LOT, not dressing herself, etc. It’s REALLY been a pain in the ass, not to mention time-consuming.

My mother in law is staying with us for a little while visiting, so I have been busy getting some things done while I have a hand, for a change. Also, we have been hanging out with the kiddies a lot (even though they are terrorists right now) and some other various family time.

My dog is sick on top of all this, so that is also sort of taking up a lot of time and attention from the family.

Don’t forget all the things that have to be done around the house regularly and whatnot! Add all the above to the daily, mundane crap that has to happen around a home, and you end up with one stressed out, spare-time-less, frazzled Mama! It’s all part of life though.

Now, for my peace offering: THE BEST APPLE PIE RECIPE EVER. Sorry diabetics, this one is full of sugar…. I’m sure that you could sub out some of the sugar for Splenda if you wanted to, I know I used the Splenda brown sugar blend instead of regular brown sugar and the change was unnoticeable. But anyway, here it is!


The Battle of the Bulges.

Harper is teething. It’s terrible. Like, horrible, terrible. I mean I know every kid does it, but ugh, not every kid does it to me. Even as I write this, I am falling asleep due to weeks of 4 hours of broken sleep a night. What the hell?!

I tried to look into why teething sucks so badly, but it seems like no one REALLY knows. (sorry about that guys, this was going to be a really interesting post!) There is so much conflicting information on the web, between doctors, and from moms, that it’s no wonder why people are going crazy trying to fix an age-old problem. Now, the new thing is not to give the kids Orajel or any other topical benzocaine gels, so look into that if you are up for handing over the Orajel. Doctors and dentists are unwilling to agree on symptoms of teething. The only thing I can tell you with absolute certainty, after researching on the intent, is that all babies teethe eventually.

No help? Yeah, me either. I feel like I need an explanation as to why my sweet little girl, who never really fussed or cried and always slept well, has joined the dark side. She slept so little last night, that now, at 7:24 in the morning. She has gone down for a nap. I will say that teething, like every other cranky-inducing milestone, is the first test of patience and resilience. And you thought labor and delivery were bad… that’s just the beginning!

Anyone got ideas for teething that don’t include giving my baby alcohol?


Baby bath salts and why I wish I had been drinking.

Let me set the scene: White suburban family in a moderate American home. Husband, wife, two kids, a dog, and a cat. American dream. Until one day the event that changed the world picks up: TEETHING. (dun dun dunnnnn). Yup, all you parents out there who have gone through teething can relate, I know. If your kids haven’t started yet, you probably don’t want to read this… it’s terrifying.

Harper started teething a few weeks ago, but this week it finally got really bad. We’re talking Tylenol and Orajel for sure. Like Haley, Harper won’t take those frozen ring teethers. Sometimes she goes for her little toys or even a Victoria’s Secret PINK puppy (don’t knock it till you try it, those things work wonders!). Her favorite thing to gnaw away at though: FINGERS. Yeah. This kid chomps down on hands, arms, chest, fingers, anything like she’s on baby bath salts. I feel terribly for her, but can we leave Mommy’s limbs intact please?

To go along with the bath salts thing, there’s the no sleep thing. I love that one. Now, I knew going into this baby thing that there was going to be little sleep (Haley didn’t sleep through the night for the first time until she was 13 months old, consistently at 18 months). Gradually, it came to be that I had the best kids in the world sleepwise… THEY SLEPT UNTIL 9 EVERYDAY. It was glorious. Harper rarely got up at night, Haley was sleeping through the night, it was a beautiful thing. THEN this terrible teething thing happened, and now my little angel wakes up with the fire of Hell as she’s screaming at me twice a night. To make it better, Haley gets up at 7 now, and likes to let everyone know she’s awake. COOL.

Parents, you know the drill. Baby wakes up at WTF o’clock in the morning wanting a bottle and you stumble across the house like a drunk sailor, cursing and fumbling to make a bottle. Well, I have a problem with that. A few years ago, the only thing that had me stumbling around in the middle of the night was a 50 dollar bar tab. It was much more fun that way. It seems like if I have to be stumbling around, I ought to have a few laughs or something, no? No, I guess not.

Anyone out there got any good ideas for soothing El Diablo in the middle of the night OR any good suggestions for teethers so we can stop the bath salts thing? Right now I’ve got slobber-logged fingers, and I’m stumbling like a drunk sailor and there is night chance of a 50 dollar bar tab in my future.