Nina Needs to NO.

I hate, hate, hate the show “Nina needs to Go“. It’s a new show on Disney Junior. Every time I see it, it makes me want to stick that id in a corner for a year for being a brat.

HOW MANY TIMES ARE WE GOING TO GO THROUGH THIS, NINA?

I ask you if you have to go, you say no, then 5 minutes later you interrupt our family outing for the bathroom? I don’t think so.

And thanks for the Super Nana, character, too. Now the kids thing some old lady is going to break I don’t even KNOW how many rules to get them to a bathroom.

Maybe the kid needs to see a urologist.

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My Dirty Laundry.

I had a bout of “Idontgiveashititis” that lasted far longer than it should have. Well, this morning, I kinda got my crap together and decided to get some things done. One of those things happened to be laundry (ew.). As I started the massive amount of kid laundry, I realized one thing: I HAVE 4 EFFING LOADS OF KID LAUNDRY TO DO. WTF.

FOURRRR.

I have two tiny kids.

Here’s what I took from that:

  • My kids have entirely too many clothes
  • I’m a lazy POS for amassing 4 loads of kid laundry before actually washing them
  • Doing kid laundry sucks.

Ok, I kinda already knew that last one, but a day full of tiny socks and shirts/pants that needed to be turned inside out (and you KNOW it’s like, impossible to fit an arm in those tiny cloth tubes) really solidified the point.

It took pretty much all day. Hours later, I’ve got all the kids laundry done and I’m 3 loads in on my and hubby’s clothes (that’s another story). Moral of the story here: Stop being a POS and do the effing laundry.

So that was my day.

‘So Now What?’

ha

Let me tell you something. That’s got to be one of my least favorite questions in the entire world. Most recently, because it’s all Haley has to ask for my head to explode. Generally though, it’s a lame question signaling to me that you can’t figure your own shit out.

Haley won’t just ask for what she wants. Rarely will she just ask for juice or for more or to be excused or anything it’s always “So…. Now what?” And my head explodes.

Dinnertime:
Haley: “Mommy, I’m all done with my dinner….” (at this point, I know she wants to be excused)
Me: “Yeah. I see that. And?”
Haley: “… annnnnd… I’m all done……. So now what?….’
Me, head exploding: “WHAT DO YOU WANT? WHAT HAPPENS EVERY NIGHT AFTER YOU’RE DONE WITH DINNER?”
Haley: “Oh. Well. I put my plate in the sink and get excused.”
Me, defeated: “WELL IF YOU KN–….. ugh just go do it.”

EVERY. DAMN. TIME.

Like, if you know what should happen, just ask for it.

Lunchtime:
I gave her two chips, one for each hand and then…
Haley: “Mommy? I finished both chips.”
Me: “Yeah? And?”
Haley: “So…. Now what?”
Me: “DO YOU WANT SOMETHING? JUST ASK FOR ITTTT!”
Haley: “Oh. Yeah. Can I have another chip please?”

REALLY?!

I don’t know why, but it’s just one of those things…

#REALTALK: Double D’s… An Inner (but important) Rambling

**This is pretty long, but worth it.. If you don’t make it to the end for whatever reason, just know that down there, I ask you to share this post (I don’t care if you share the whole blog, just this one post) because it was hard for me to write, and I want to know that someone, somewhere is benefitting from it. **

I have been meaning to do a post about depression and diabetes for quite some time now, but I just haven’t really had the time. Since I can’t seem to sleep, it seems like I’ve found some.

A really big part of diabetes is the blood sugar (checking, monitoring and the always prevalent “YOU CAN’T EAT THAT”), but there’s another part that people who don’t live with the D seem to pass by: depression.

Think about it, diabetes is a disease of the endocrine system. The endocrine system controls a whole host of hormones and functions. As a matter of fact, if my sugar is too high or too low, I’m completely horrid. Like AWFUL. Cranky, whiney, tantrum-y, and just a plain ol’ bitch (yeah, I admit it.).

There are some times when I’m on a high trend and I just get straight up drepressed. Then, of course, I eat my feelings (and let’s be honest, no one gets sad and eats kale amiright?!) and my numbers get higher (therefore getting deeper into depression) and there you have it! A vicious cycle brought on by too much candy (the depression, not the ‘beetus) that I then have to suffer and break myself.

Coming completely clean, I admit that I tried taking an anti-depressant to try to calm the depression down (this was a few months back) so that I had a fighting chance at fixing the whole thing. You know what? It didn’t work. I know that different things work for different people and all, but I’m pretty convinced that because this was from my sugar, medicine wasn’t going to fix it.

Eventually I broke that whole cycle and started getting things back to normal… But every once in a while, depression starts knocking at the door and I have to shove it off all over again. Watching, I have noticed that this seems to happen whenever I deicde that my numbers aren’t important to check anymore and eat whatever I want. (see what I’m getting at?)

There are a lot of other things that go on inside the mind of someone with the D, and I mean, I can only speak from a young person’s point of view here. I know that, at least for me, the hard time losing weight has always been one of them. Diabetes makes it a little harder to lose weight, and a lot of the oral meds for diabetes make it even harder on top of that. Throw in a slow thyroid (a common problem for diabetics) and have a lot stacked against you. I’m not making excuses here, guys, anything is possible!

Continuing on with my unabashed honesty (I’m chalking this up to the fact that I am exhausted) I have always struggled with weight. The demon in my closet steps on the scale A LOT. It sometimes will remind me how much weight I’ve gained since starting this medicine, randomly in the middle of the day. It comes into the dressing room with me at Old Navy and we try on clothes together (it judges). I hear it’s great friends with my on-again-off again-pal, Depression.

Lastly, don’t forget that people with diabetes get to deal with having some life-long, pain in the ass disease for the rest of their lives! Not to be dramatic or anything… but it’s kinda true. Although you should never let your disease get the best of you, some days it wakes up a little earlier than you and has an extra cup of coffee or something, and just gets a leg up on your spirit for the day, that’s totally normal. 

Is this me coming out as a basket case all over the internet? Heck no. This is me trying to give some people some insight into what goes on inside other people’s minds. Not everyone is willing to share. I’m not even sure I’M willing to share!

Think of this as a Cliff Notes for Diabetics, an, Everything you may not have read about on WebMD about the disease kinda thing.

Share this. Share it with everyone you know. Share it with people who have diabetic friends and family members, people married to diabetics, shit, share this with diabetics themselves and hope it encourages them to share what their demons do and say.

I’m sharing all of this uncharacteristally personal dribble with you guys in the hope that I can help you. Even if I help you help someone else. It’s better than being miserable for nothing.

This isn’t a cry for help, it’s a cry to help.

Dear Children,

Dear children,

If you cold read, I probably wouldn’t post this….

I have here, a list of things I would LOVE to tell you two little… darlings, but won’t because it will either break your baby hearts OR I simply can’t find a way to say it without cursing at you… Mommy loves you.

1. I DON’T WANT TO KISS YOU WHILE I’M ON THE TOILET. This is pretty self explanatory. Mommy’s “potty time” is already compromised by the fact that I can’t go to the bathroom in peace. Please do not open the door, come up to me, try to kiss me, then scream at me when I don’t want to kiss and poop at the same time (yes, mommies poop, too.)

2. YOU KNOW WHAT’S NOT CUTE? WAKING MY UP BY WHINING. Sorry, babies. I love you and all and there’s nothing that I would (theoretically) love more than to wake up to your cute little faces in the morning. But that horrid screech-whine hybrid noise that comes from your face-hole at whatever-o-clock in the morning just kills it for me. Be silent until I’ve had my coffee.

3. I JUST DON’T WANT TO SHARE WITH YOU. MINE, MINE, MINE. Go away when I’m eating, on the computer, drinking from my water bottle, or sneaking a snack. It’s bad enough that I guilt myself for stealing chocolate covered pretzels in general… don’t draw attention to it! My snack. And lunch? No, kids, I fed you already… Hit the road.

4. SURE IT WAS CUTE THE FIRST TIME, IT’S JUST ANNOYING NOW. Okay, it was kind of cute when you spun yourselves dizzy, flipped over the couch, and hung upside down in a weird-ass head stand thing, but let it go. I just can’t fake interest that long.

5. IT’S TRUE. I REALLY CAN’T WAIT TO DROP YOU OFF SOMEWHERE AND DO NOTHING…. WITHOUT YOU. I mean I love you.. so, so, so much and I always will. But holy Christ, you guys are just too much sometimes. I’ll say it, sometimes I just want to drop you off somewhere and sit in the house and do nothing.

If these little confessions (and trust me, there are the little ones, you KNOW there are others) make me a mean or bad mommy, then so be it… but I’m sure I’m not the only one. I love you little turds, but sometimes you make me want to hide in a corner for days at a time (that’s not weird).

 

If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say, Head Over to the Experience Project.

Let me say this: The Experience Project should be a great thing. The concept is good, the idea is there, the only thing that went wrong is the human factor. You just can’t stop people from being judgmental douches.

The internet, and the people who use it, seem to seek out people seeking real help or advice and target them. It’s no secret that the anonymity of the internet has let an entire new breed of douches free in the world. What gets me is that when you sign up for the Experience Project website, you basically sign terms and conditions that supposedly stop you from being said douche. Unless you’re a liar, liar pants on fire (which a lot of people are).

Here’s why I’m bashing this site: when I was pregnant with Harper, I had a tough time getting my shit together to take my blood sugars like I was supposed to. I posted a question in the complicated pregnancy forum asking for tips on motivating myself and these people were pretty heartless. Of the 5 answers I received, 4 were nasty.

questionshitty answers

See? Unnecessary.

So while the idea of the Experience Project is great, you can’t take human nature out of humans, nor the humans from experiences, and thus you get a gaggle of douches waiting to pounce on anyone and anything.

 

Cheapskates. (I Have A Problem)

Recently, there has been some community wide disappointment with the school district here. I’m not really getting into all that, but I am jumping on the bandwagon….. sort of.

I am disappointed, but not because of taxes and blah blah blah, I’m disappointed because I come on here or on facebook and see all these moms sending their little ones off to their first day of Pre-K at the school, and I can’t. Boo.

I called and called around and found that the only way my kids can go to pre-k through the school district is if they have special needs which, thankfully, they don’t.

In a time when so many kids go to pre-k it’s almost become necessary, I find it insane that you still expect parents to have to pay for it. Am I bitching? Yes. Complaining? Well, yeah. But, do I feel justified? Absolutely. 

It bums me out that I can’t afford to send Haley to pre-k, and because of that, I feel like she’s going to be behind, She is a brilliant child, and I do work with her at home, but because kindergarten here is full day, I feel like she’s really going to be in for a shocker when she gets there.

There are a lot of tax dollars flowing into this district, and to not fund a pre-k program is silly, when there are districts with less funding doing so.

That being said, it’s Haley’s last week at camp, so I hope it’s a fun one! To camp we go!