Dear Children,

Dear children,

If you cold read, I probably wouldn’t post this….

I have here, a list of things I would LOVE to tell you two little… darlings, but won’t because it will either break your baby hearts OR I simply can’t find a way to say it without cursing at you… Mommy loves you.

1. I DON’T WANT TO KISS YOU WHILE I’M ON THE TOILET. This is pretty self explanatory. Mommy’s “potty time” is already compromised by the fact that I can’t go to the bathroom in peace. Please do not open the door, come up to me, try to kiss me, then scream at me when I don’t want to kiss and poop at the same time (yes, mommies poop, too.)

2. YOU KNOW WHAT’S NOT CUTE? WAKING MY UP BY WHINING. Sorry, babies. I love you and all and there’s nothing that I would (theoretically) love more than to wake up to your cute little faces in the morning. But that horrid screech-whine hybrid noise that comes from your face-hole at whatever-o-clock in the morning just kills it for me. Be silent until I’ve had my coffee.

3. I JUST DON’T WANT TO SHARE WITH YOU. MINE, MINE, MINE. Go away when I’m eating, on the computer, drinking from my water bottle, or sneaking a snack. It’s bad enough that I guilt myself for stealing chocolate covered pretzels in general… don’t draw attention to it! My snack. And lunch? No, kids, I fed you already… Hit the road.

4. SURE IT WAS CUTE THE FIRST TIME, IT’S JUST ANNOYING NOW. Okay, it was kind of cute when you spun yourselves dizzy, flipped over the couch, and hung upside down in a weird-ass head stand thing, but let it go. I just can’t fake interest that long.

5. IT’S TRUE. I REALLY CAN’T WAIT TO DROP YOU OFF SOMEWHERE AND DO NOTHING…. WITHOUT YOU. I mean I love you.. so, so, so much and I always will. But holy Christ, you guys are just too much sometimes. I’ll say it, sometimes I just want to drop you off somewhere and sit in the house and do nothing.

If these little confessions (and trust me, there are the little ones, you KNOW there are others) make me a mean or bad mommy, then so be it… but I’m sure I’m not the only one. I love you little turds, but sometimes you make me want to hide in a corner for days at a time (that’s not weird).



If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say, Head Over to the Experience Project.

Let me say this: The Experience Project should be a great thing. The concept is good, the idea is there, the only thing that went wrong is the human factor. You just can’t stop people from being judgmental douches.

The internet, and the people who use it, seem to seek out people seeking real help or advice and target them. It’s no secret that the anonymity of the internet has let an entire new breed of douches free in the world. What gets me is that when you sign up for the Experience Project website, you basically sign terms and conditions that supposedly stop you from being said douche. Unless you’re a liar, liar pants on fire (which a lot of people are).

Here’s why I’m bashing this site: when I was pregnant with Harper, I had a tough time getting my shit together to take my blood sugars like I was supposed to. I posted a question in the complicated pregnancy forum asking for tips on motivating myself and these people were pretty heartless. Of the 5 answers I received, 4 were nasty.

questionshitty answers

See? Unnecessary.

So while the idea of the Experience Project is great, you can’t take human nature out of humans, nor the humans from experiences, and thus you get a gaggle of douches waiting to pounce on anyone and anything.



Harper is a screamer.

Not a scream-crier, not a tantrum-screamer (I mean, she is – but that’s not what I’m talking about), but a scream-because-i-can-er. A scream-because-i’m-bored-er, a scream-because-i-want-to-come-out-of-bed-er, a scream-because-i-can’t-do-something-er, a scream-because-i’m-happy-er… you get it. Let me stress again that she doesn’t cry, but screeches at the top of her lungs.

I’m ripping my eardrums out.

I.CAN’T.STAND.IT.ANYMORE. (I’m going crazy..)

I find myself screaming back at her, or shutting down, walking away, laughing, and a whole array of other things. I looked online and there was no help there. Anyone have any ideas? Ignoring it doesn’t work and I just don’t know that I’m going to make it until she learns to use words in place of the screaming.

New Insulin Type: Haterade XL!?

That’s right. Haterade XL. Apparently all diabetics are taking it. It’s injectable, so it’s quick acting, and the “XL” means that it’s extended release; guaranteed to make you an a-hole all day long! I know it’s not just diabetics that are taking it, but that’s what I’m talking about at this time.

All over Facebook, comments in forums, and even on here (*probably) I see this war between type 1 and type 2 diabetics over who has it worse. I’m not here to take sides, and I’m not here to point out the differences.. (you can read up on that here! gotta educate!) My question is: Who cares?

Why does one group have to be sicker, worse off, or anything else than the other? Why be happy about that?! If you want to compete like children, compete to see who can control their numbers best, person for person… not who is more beat than the other. I’m tired of it. Tired of seeing it, tired of feeling guilty reading some of these stories, tired of getting angry when I read a type 1 discredit type 2 diabetes all together, as if it weren’t a real disease because they don’t need insulin, and tired of seeing a type 2 tell a type 1 they are better off because they are “used to it” and “just hook up to a pump”. If you were a decent person, you would put aside your bitterness and cheer on those who don’t have to take the same road you follow; maybe you can help one person be better off.

But we would rather fight each other.

How about, instead, we support each other in our journey and battle, be there when we need someone to listen, and wish each other the best, understand that every fight is different and difficult in its own way?

Just a thought.


If You Have Netflix, NEVER, EVER, EVER…..

Let your kid watch the “Bratz:babyz” movie. Never. Never effing ever. Unless, of course, you want to set the high goal of “stripper of the year” for them and you are looking to lay down some good groundwork.

To be half-fair, it’s my fault too for not watching the movie (yeah whatever, I put it on so I could get housework done. Tv IS a babysitter, get over it) BUT it’s their fault for putting it on the kids channel! That shit is NOT for little kids!

Here’s how I know:

Tonight while visiting my dad for our usual Sunday afternoon dinner, we decided to have a dance party (I have been trying to, ironically, cut down on the tv we were watching so we put Pandora on) and she starts dancing. Okay, cool. THEN she starts shaking her ass and SMACKING IT. Yeah, all this while she was BLOWING MY DAD KISSES. THEN she came up to me asking a million questions and I tell her “just…. go, Hal, go dance.” AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAID TO ME?! “But I need dollars to dance.” In front my my dad?! Really?! Kill me now.

So of course, I’m on the warpath. I’m ready to start using torture tactics to find out who taught her this shit. I call my husband when I get home to let her say goodnight since he was working and to tell him about this whole thing. After signing, then laughing, then letting me yell about the person whose life I’m going to have to take over this, he goes “Oh, I bet it was the Bratz movie. They were doing some kind of dance thing to win money for their dog or something.” 

Ok fine. So they weren’t stripping. Thank God. BUT. They run around being little bitches to each other wearing belly shirts and short shorts, dancing all slutty-like and blowing kisses.


Just no.

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT let your kid watch that trash movie, again, unless you want them to be the best stripper they can be.

Am I pissed? HELL YES. Am I over-reacting? Maybe. But I made hubby make a secret-parent pact with me to never EVER let her watch that crap again. Ever.

/end rant.

For The Sake of Starting an Argument? (a rant)

Just browsed over an article about Rush Limbaugh saying on-air that Stay at home moms are the new feminists which, of course, started a giant war between working moms and stay at home moms about who the better/harder working/more caring parent is and so on.


I’m pretty tired of this debate. Now anyone who is on my Facebook may totally think I’m a hypocrite now because I totally got into it with someone last week about this same thing. But then I realized what do I care?

So what?

Want to know who the best parents are? The ones who love their damn kids. The ones who, no matter how, kiss boo-boos, wake up at night, and teach their kids right and wrong. The ones who spend less time on the internet bitching about other parenting styles and more time loving their kids. Those are the best parents.

So what is the best parenting style? Not staying home with them, not going to work to provide for them, just freaking loving the crap out of your kids and not caring to bother with other people’s opinions and choices.

That’s what life is about anyway, right? Choices, following through with your choices, sticking to your decisions, and (if you decided to have them) raising your kids to become the best generation the world will come to see.

If you’re interested, here is the article that I read that started this rant, but it’s just more fuel to the fire.

oh. Also. If you comment here about who the best parent is and start some weird debate thing about parenting, I’m just going to delete it. You may have the right to free speech, but I have the right to delete your comments. 🙂


Marching to their own beats: Walking babies.

There’s so much research online about when babies walk, crawl, eat, drool, poop; whatever. My thing is: why not just go with instinct? I mean moms know, they do. Even when they don’t think they know, they know. It’s some unsaid, unknown force of the universe that keeps moms from screwing up their kids too badly. But of course, there are exceptions to the rule.

Like my kid.

Harper crawled sometime between 4 and 5 months, Haley not until 7 or 8. When we saw Harper pulling up on to things shortly after, standing on her own, and taking a daring leap-step here and there we all thinking “this kid is gonna walk any day now.”


Harper has been “ready to walk any day now” for freakin’ months. What the hell, kid? Just do it already. Just… shit or get off the pot already(if you were potty trained, that is).

ANYONE who knows me in real life knows I’m disgustingly competitive. I try to hide it, I really do, but I’m awful at it. That being said, I was totally jealous that kids born right around Harper’s birthday (my niece, Sophia, for example, was born the next day) because they started walking already. Then I realized, ah what the hell, I already have a kid that walks, why do I want two? Because I’m a competitive jerk, that’s why. And I think if it were any other kid, I’d be totally mad, instead I’m excited Mom and Dad (they’re so proud) and LOOK HOW CUTE THIS KID IS.

My adorable niece, Sophia!

My adorable niece, Sophia!

I’ve conceded, finally, to the fact that my kid is too stubborn to walk when I want her to, so I just gave up wanting her to. Reverse psychology on my 10 month old is a great idea, I know.  And yeah, I know, she’s only 10 months old, but when she’s been “days away from walking” for over a month, I decided I’m freakin’ over it.

Haley didn’t walk until shortly after her first birthday, I think it was around 13 months when she started doing it well and consistently  but she was far ahead of Harper in vocabulary and communication skills. My theory is that they will excel at one or the other: motor skills OR verbal skills, but not usually both.

“…most babies take their first steps sometime between nine and 12 months and are walking well by the time they’re 14 or 15 months old. Don’t worry if your child takes a little longer, though; many perfectly normal children don’t walk until their 16th or 17th month.”

From BabyCenter, read the rest of that article here.

I’m curious, when did your little one take their first steps?