Re-(re-re-re-)finding Myself.

Being home for over a week now, and being off pain pills for a few days now, I’ve had some time to get to know my new self and I’m pretty happy with me.

Being home for 5 years with the girls was an awesome gift (even though I wanted to return it some days), but it made me kind of miss out on who I was as a person, I was just mom. All the time. Then I went back to work and had some time to become me. I could do me things, on my time, with people who knew for me, not just “Haley and Harper’s mom”, and it was great. It still is great.

The downside to having a job is I’m always working (go figure). I miss a lot of time with the kids. Time with hubby. Time with myself. Having this time off for recovery is kind of nice because it’s giving me time to meet myself as Emily, not just mom. I feel like this is a really important thing for anyone to have the time to do. Think about it, when was the last time you had nothing to do but be you? I mean yes, I have the girls to take of, and I’m still sore as hell from getting gut like a fish, but I can still just do me right now and it’s awesome. That being said, I don’t know how I will feel about all this free time in another week or so (I can’t really do nothing for very long).

I found out that new me enjoys beer and home made sangria, loves to actually make plans and stick to them, likes a clean house that smells nice, makes fun jokes about everything, hates yelling (crazy mom me loved to yell), likes to play on the floor with the kids (as much as possible now), actually dislikes cooking a bit, is a lot more chilled out than I realized, and loves to have fun. That last one is a big one because while i was home, I sheltered myself. I didn’t want drag the kids everywhere or make everyone deal with a crying baby all the time. Now, granted, my kids are bigger now (it’s been 11 months that I have been back at work) so it’s easier to travel with them and they don’t cry nearly as much as they did, but I never would have realized that if I hadn’t gone back to work.

I was walking around the other night with my Redd’s green apple ale, I had just gotten home from dinner with my dad and I was heading to the computer to blog it up, and it hit me: I’m effing happy. Like, real happy. It kind of feels like I just made a new friend, but it’s me. Weird.

This is good, guys. You should all do this. Just take a week off to do nothing. I mean, clean your house or something if you want, but make plans, have fun, grab a few drinks, and re-discover who you are at this point in your life. I feel like that’s something that everyone should do periodically to kind of keep track of who you are, no? Wouldn’t you want to know? It’s not something that I would have thought to had I not had this opportunity completely accidentally.


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