Haley Quote Of The Day

“my chicken nugget looks like a dead guy! ”

What the hell do they teach on Disney Junior? !


Mommy Confessions: Chicken Nuggets And Chips.

After a long, irritating day with my toddler, my fuse is getting shorter by the second. “where are we going?” Over and over again “are we there yet?”, “why?”, “can we go to Autumn’s house?”, and ask the little glimpses of attitude that keep peeking out… It’s driving me nuts.

Finally we tell her that were going to eat. After answering her “what” and “where” questions over and over, I finally yelled “we’re going to dinner and I’m gonna get you some chicken nuggets and shit!”. She promptly replies with a whiney, “I don’t want chicken nuggets and chips! ”


Hey we can’t all be saints.

So It Can Be Done! (The Day The TV Stood Still)

Ok, let’s get real here and cut the “perfect mom” crap. My kids watch TV. They watch more of it than I’d like them to, in fact, it runs all day. They don’t watch it all day, we DO play and interact and whatnot, but it runs in the background all day. Real moms use Mickeymouse Clubhouse as a babysitter for 23 minutes so that they can fold laundry or do dishes, or Sophia the First so that they can get a few minutes to themselves (or an hour if you DVR’ed the movie like I did).

While I totally support using my TV as a babysitter once in a while, I DO think my kids watch a little more than I’d like them to. The other day, I got the kids up like always and got juice for Haley and breakfast for them and blah, blah, blah. The one thing I didn’t do: turn on the TV like a zombie. Normally, after stumbling out of bed and following my normal morning routine (mentioned here), I walk over to the TV and turn it on, without even thinking, on my way into the kitchen to grab breakfast and drinks. Not this day, no.

Seeing as how Haley didn’t start WWIII over the TV being off, I decided to let it go for as long as I could. She played on her LeapPad2, then with me on the floor, we did some activities in her preschool workbook, played with the baby, but we didn’t watch TV  Before I knew it, it was “quiet time”, and my “quiet time” I mean “go in the playroom and watch a movie and leave Mommy alone because your sister is napping and I’d like to get my shit done then watch SVU on Roku“. She DID watch Tangled in quiet time, but after that she came out of the playroom and the TV was still off. I didn’t even watch SVU (gasp!)

Dinner time came and went, snack time followed, bath time, toothbrushing time, everything, with no mention of the tv being off. Before I knew it, it was bedtime and the TV hadn’t been turned on once during the entire day! I couldn’t believe it.

It was exhausting, occupying both of them all day without a break. Some would say that’s my “job” as a mom and they’re right… mostly. My job is also to clean, do laundry, cook, and all the other lovely things that need to get done on a daily basis in order to keep this ship sailing smoothly. You need a break in there, surely.

Does this mean my TV is never going on again? Hell no. Does it mean that it is totally possible to cut down on TV time without a major meltdown, WWIII, or institutionalization? Heck yeah it does!

So yes moms, if you are anything like me (and you know you are – even a little), admit it, realize it’s totally okay for Mickeymouse to watch your kids so you can shower/fold laundry/do dishes/ go to the bathroom in peace, and then just push the limits and see how far you can get without the TV. Lord knows there’s nothing wrong with TV during the day, but cutting a little out might be worth a shot, especially if, like my kids, it turns them into zombabies.

I’m challenging you to cut TV time down an hour. Just one. If it goes well, go for more, if not, screw it, an hour is an hour… take what you can get!

As for me? I’m going to TRY sticking to putting it on in the morning, leaving it off for a designated period during the day, then turning that thing back on for some down time before bed.

When Enough Is FINALLY Enough.

Ok moms, I know you’re gonna hear me on this one. Anyone’s day go like this?

0700 – Wake up to screaming kids

0704 – Stumble out of bedroom is some sort of odd yoga pants/t-shirt/tank top/robe combination you may have seen on “What Not To Wear”

0710 – Diaper duty complete. Kids dressed.

0711 – First demand for a drink.

0715 – Kids eating breakfast

0720 – More juice demands

0745 – Breakfast done, table cleaned up, some sort of breakfast bar/shake downed. Coffee made.

0830 – Sweep baby’s throat to find she’s choking on a Barbie shoe. More toddler juice demands.

1000 – Baby nap time (yes!) More juice demands. Toddler toy clean up time.

1200 – Toddler lunch time, baby wake up time. Diaper duty. Baby lunch time. More juice demands.

1205 – Notice cold coffee cup, still full. Toddler toys still all over the place. Juice demands being refused due to toys not being cleaned up. Warning issued for toy noncompliance. Coffee in the microwave.

1300 – Toys still not cleaned up. Juice demands. Coffee cold again. Toy warning re-issued.

1400 – Baby nap time. Toddler quiet time. MORE juice demands. Toys STILL not cleaned up. Time out and another warning issued. (This is where it gets REALLY annoying)

For the sake of everyone’s sanity, I’m going to stop there because that is right around the point in my day when I decide “enough is enough, she’s cleaning up these toys/putting away her coloring stuff/stop coloring on herself with markers and I’m NOT going to repeat myself anymore. I’m not going to repeat myself anymore. I’M NOT GOING TO REPEAT MYSELF ANYMORE. Oh crap.”

I resort to time outs. Time outs DO NOT work. They just don’t. They are not the key to toddler compliance. I don’t care what people say. They’re bull. The kid just comes out and continues to not do what I asked her to. At least mine does.

Well you know what? ENOUGH IS FINALLY ENOUGH. I’m actually not doing this anymore. I’m done yelling, repeating myself. MOMS, NOW IS THE TIME FOR ACTION. Seriously.

Today, I caught Haley coloring on herself with marker AGAIN. Calmly, I asked her to get the cap for the marker, capped the marker, and took it away.  Three strikes have turn into two. Time outs are not going to be 3 minutes, they will be 5. Any when all else fails, the toys/markers/games/whatever gets taken away. Maybe forever, maybe for a little while, maybe for a day. Depends on what it is and how much she has pissed me off with it, I guess.

Seeing as how the world is populated with 7 billion people, many (if not most) of which are adults, there is some way that three year olds survive. I’m not sure how, but they obviously get through the absolutely-effing-horrid-horrific-worse-than-terrible-2 threes. The gloves are off and my mean mom hat is on. Take THAT. This is gonna work (until my post next week that will graze the topic of my diminishing sanity and my toddler’s refusal to listen).

A toddler girl crying

A toddler girl crying (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

How did you and your toddler survive the age of doom and destruction? Or didn’t they?

RUN Over to Google Play For This App! (C25K Review)

Okay, so, for the love of fitness, I decided to throw another app review up here. This one is called Couch 2 5k, or C25K if you’re cool enough. Actually, if you are on android, there are both. I used the C25K one by Zen Labs (LOOK! they support breast cancer research!) Here’s a link for it on Android. (Apple guys, your link is at the bottom)Screenshot_2013-01-15-07-44-01Anyway, when you open the app, you get this adorable little welcome screen with options to sign up for crap (yeah, sure) and these little motivational/ inspirational tips and whatnot. Very welcoming, though, you learn to just go past this after a while if you are as impatient as I am.

Screenshot_2013-01-15-07-44-10Moving on…. When you actually open the app and get started, you meet the main screen (the only screen actually, this is a pretty “bare bones” kind of app) I have a few different shots of the different schedules to put on here, but basically you start out with a 5 minute walk every time, then after that, the time you spend running and walking varies depending on how advanced you are in the 8 week course set. Remember, this app is designed to get people who don’t run at all (couch) to (2) be able to run a 5k (5k) in 8 weeks. You start off doing 8 sets of 60 second runs then 90 second walks and gradually increase from there all the way to running for 30 minutes (about 3 miles). *5 kilometers is roughly 3.1 miles, for those who don’t do the whole metric conversion thing, you’re welcome.

The app tell you how much time you have been running/walking, how much time you have left during your particular part (ex: 30 seconds left of running), and how much time you have left to your entire exercise set. The entire basis for this exercise regimen is based on something that can also be found around the internet. I actually have The Color Run’s version of the sheet on Pinterest. We aren’t talking any sort of exercise breakthrough here, but the ability to pop the schedule into your smartphone, listen to your music, and have a little voice in your ear telling you when to switch from running to walking without you having to time it yourself is damn good. Yes that’s right. Music AND a little voice in your ear. There is a function to add your own music playlist on here, but I just listen to Pandora.

Screenshot_2013-01-15-07-44-18 Screenshot_2013-01-15-07-44-37 Screenshot_2013-01-15-07-44-28

There is a bug in here though that is a definite downside for me. When (if) you back out of the app, say to change the song on Pandora or something, you get a little thing in your status bar that tells you which activity you are doing (running or walking) but when I click back on the status area, it brings me back to the app from the beginning, making it super inconvenient and confusing. The one day I started the workout over to see if that was the trick and ended up VERY confused when the thing started shouted orders to run and walk every 4 seconds. No bueno.

Another thing that was a possible downside is that there is no way to enter in your distance. The time is set, so there is no way to go back and beat your time or anything, but it would be nice to be able to enter in how far you went. You also can’t track your run like you can on other apps. This isn’t a big deal to me since I usually run at the gym, but I can see it changing my decision if I were an outdoor runner.

Anyway, I definitely recommend this app for anyone trying to train for a 5k, or just build up stamina. I am planning on signing up for The Color Run when it is near me, so that’s what’s got me all into 5k apps now, but there doesn’t have to be a reason to get in shape. Again, the only thing is, plan to set some time aside for your run, if you leave the app, it might be hard to get back to where you were. And there is no way to see where or how far you went. I did not try the in-app music feature, that will be up to you to use, but the rest of it ran very nicely. I will be continuing to use this and improve myself.

What-the-Hell-Wednesday: Why? (I’m whining)

Seriously – why?

Why what?

Why today, of all days, are both of my kids feeling awful? What’s so special about today? I feel awful. Not awful like they do, just cranky, grumpy, and with a headache the size of Texas. They are stuffy and congested and also cranky. It’s 2 in the afternoon and we all still have pj’s on, no one plans of getting dressed, and we are all sort of co-existing today, even the baby. Even still, they don’t feel good. Haley is clinging to me, Harper is just crying and crying (the poor thing doesn’t know why she can’t breathe), and I just want to go to sleep.

The kids need baths tonight, and seeing as how Harper is convinced all water is acid or something, that’s going to kind of suck.

Plus side? MY hubby recognized the look of anguish on my face the second we woke up, let me sleep a few extra minutes, did the dishes, and cleaned the kitchen. He’s either catching on, or I have 1 month left to live and no one’s told me yet. Either way, it’s much appreciated.

Also, I with that the people who make the Tangled game for the Leappad would understand that “early pre-k”  grade level means that my kid can’t spell words, damnit. SHE’S 3, GUYS.

Mommy needs a sick day. What the hell?

Why We ALL Need Jelly Beans In Life (Even Diabetics)

Okay, so, since now I get up at 7am (thanks, Harper!), I have been trolling WordPress like crazy, even though I don’t post that often. This morning I get an email telling me someone liked a blog post of mine and, as usual, since I didn’t know them, checked their blog out. Let me tell you, totally inspiring. I feel like such a shlep bitching and complaining about the little things when there are people out there who would consider my life a break from their own. Moving on….

One of Linda’s posts was titled “Life Is A Tiny Bag of Jelly Bellies” and I just had to know what was up. Forest Gump says it’s like a box of chocolates, and hell, as a diabetic, I’d take either if I could. (If anyone wants to get me some sugar free jelly bellies, I’d love you forever.)

In case you don’t have time to read the post (which I HIGHLY recommend, it’s not that long), I’ll post an excerpt explaining what the hell we’re talking about:

Having been on a diet for forever, I was starved for something sweet. I admit that I used to eat a lot of “comfort food”, so finding a way I could still do this and not gain weight has been a challenge.  Fortunately,  I came up with secret of packing little bags of Jelly Bellies, these great little jelly beans that really taste like what they say they taste like. My favorites are licorice, cotton candy, and, (of course for anyone who KNOWS me,) buttered popcorn.  I purchase only my favorite flavors, and package about 20 of them into little bags. Then, throughout the day when I need a little boost, I eat a few, and I am happy.

It has dawned on me that my life is full of little jelly belly moments, not in relation to the real jelly bean, but as a reaction to little events that can happen that also give me a boost and make me happy:”

Not being able to eat Jelly Bellies as much as I’d like, these “jelly belly moments” sound awesome. I almost want to eat them (then again I haven’t eaten breakfast yet). But it got me thinking, Jelly Belly moments are important, but the flavor  of the bean is more important. I love the buttered popcorn and the pear beans (not together – ew) but I freaking loathe licorice… that one is awful and, unless my husband wants to eat it, garbage bound. Then I thought about my metaphoric jelly belly box: is it full of buttered popcorn and pear, or licorice, or a nice combination of the two? What about your jelly bean box? I feel like I may have put a lot more licorice beans in there than I’d like, and I feel like maybe I should focus less on the licorice beans and more on the pear ones. (I hope you’re still following me here, it IS kind of early in the morning) I’m encouraging you to do the same. Don’t give your husband the gross jelly bean moments, just throw them out, that’s not cool.

Here are a few Jelly Belly moments for me:

  • When Haley follows an “I love you, Mommy” with “you’re….. (insert which ever obscure compliment she chooses for the day here)”
  • Sleeping in
  • Going to the gym and totally rocking it
  • Harper’s laugh
  • Random hugs and kisses from my girls
  • When I get up and there is nothing to clean
  • The 5 seconds right after to finish ALL of the laundry and there is not a single dirty thing in the house
  • Surprise visitors when my house looks immaculate
  • When my A1c tests come back awesome
  • Fasting sugars under 130
  • Winning an argument (yeah, I’m THAT competitive)
  • Spring weather during winter
  • Perfect hair days
  • Putting Haley in quiet time while Harper naps and watching SVU on Roku
  • Having time to read – anything
  • Crocheting, even if for a few minutes
  • Going out to dinner with my husband and not my kids (this is a lot of jelly beans)
  • My aunt’s stuffing
  • Getting all my bills paid for the month (a bag of jelly beans, for sure)
  • Making someone’s day
  • Talking to my best friend on the phone

I’d list the licorice ones, but I’ve thrown them out already 🙂

What’s in your jelly belly box? Share your beans in the comments section!